Many of us grew up with the thought that asking for things you want maybe considered rude. We sit on the sidelines waiting patiently for good fortune to smile at us. The truth is that there is nothing rude about asking for what you want or need unless you are taking unfair advantage of another human being. We can’t simply wait quietly for things to come to us. I haven’t come across any mind reader that could guess my needs and wants yet. You must speak up to make positive things happen.
“Destiny is for losers. It’s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen”– Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)
Many of us also have insecurities that make us think that maybe we aren’t worth it and it would be too bold for us to ask for something. The thing is that the world starts to respond when we believe that about ourselves. If you do not ask for what you want or need because you feel you don’t deserve it, you’re the one punishing yourself. It doesn’t hurt to ask. The worst that can happen is you getting a ‘no’ or a ‘not yet’.
We are all people with different wants and needs. Life is too short to wait for things to come to us on their own. No one wants to look back in regret and no one wants to look at other’s lives and wonder why they get all the luck. The reason is they weren’t afraid to ask. They didn’t let opportunities pass by thinking maybe next time it will be offered to them.
If you don’t ask, you will not get. It’s as simple as that. The old saying “You never know unless you ask” is far truer than a lot of us realise.
“If you want something, don’t be afraid to ask. The worst they can say is ‘no’. ” – Hillary Weiss
The key is to be assertive, not aggressive. There is no reason to approach someone already on the defensive or on the attack. You are simply enquiring if something is possible. You may get a lot of ‘no’ answers, but you will also get a lot of “yes”. Keep asking. A “no” doesn’t mean that you will always get the same answer. Have it at the back of your mind that you may not get what you ask for, but you may gain the knowledge on how to get it.
“A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want” – Madonna
Even if you are afraid, ask anyway. Don’t give fear more power than it needs to have. Do not let fear keep you in your comfort zone and inhibit your personal growth. Remember, the more you ask, the easier it becomes.
What’s the biggest thing that you want or have being hoping for?
Is it a promotion at work or more vacation time?
Is it a business loan?
Whether it’s time off, flexible hours, work from home or even a bump in salary, everything is negotiable. When you honestly feel as though you’ve earned a freedom of some sort, you owe it to yourself and your hard work to inquire about incentives that would solicit the continuance of such hard work.
Are you waiting for that special someone to ask you out?
What if they wanted to, but were held back for the same reasons you haven’t asked them yet?
Whatever it is, you should go for it. Never be afraid to ask for what you want!